Marriage: Still the Ultimate Investment? – Black Enterprise

Marriage: Still the Ultimate Investment?

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The modern day approach to relationships is pretty predictable and standard. Man meets woman. They exchange information. They go out. Man taps into the mind of the woman or vice versa. The ability to seize control of a person’s mind usually results in an open heart and open body experience. It’s usually that easy.

Unfortunately, when you cross certain boundaries in relationships, it usually leads to a change in appreciation of the relationship. Tupac stated it best in his song I Get Around: “I don’t want it if it’s that easy!”

This can be better translated as I won’t want you if it’s that easy!

Now there is nothing wrong with the above (as long as it’s with the person you are married to). However, the equation has gone from a Hollywood fairy tale, to a merry-go-round experience with the flavor of the week. Would you share your retirement account with someone who isn’t invested? Well, why share all of yourself with someone who hasn’t made a commitment through marriage?

This leaves me with questions about what roles we play in relationships in today’s society.

– Do women have a ‘probation’ period before they release themselves physically to someone they’re dating? Why not make men wait for the prize if you believe it’s worth it?

-Do men not respect women who make a commitment to saving their treasure for marriage? Why don’t men value their bodies and whom they connect with?

I wish I had the silver bullet answers to all of the aforementioned questions. However, I posed them in order to prompt personal reflection. It’s up to you to determine where you fall in relation to each question. It’s my hope that you begin to take on a different position on relationships so you don’t continue to perpetuate the same cycles we are going through today.

Kenny Pugh is a Life & Relationship Strategist, Author of ‘Can You Do It Standing Up?’, Associate Minister, Radio Show Host, singles leader and sought-after speaker on singleness, relationships, finances and life. You can find more information about Kenny at You can follow him on Facebook at Kenny Pugh or on Twitter @mrkennypugh.