The values from the 1970’s and 1980’s have now given way to prosperity, self-focused life pursuits and never-satisfied mentalities ushered in during the 1990’s and 2000’s. I have received an increasing number of e-mails and phone calls from married couples that view themselves as roommates instead of spouses.
What are signs of a roommate arrangement?
Roommates tend to live seemingly independent lives while sharing living quarters as a place of commonality. Roommates usually eat at separate times and forego using dinnertime as an opportunity to communicate about their day. Each person does their own thing, but they live together in order to split rent and reduce living expenses. There are many married couples operating under a similar arrangement. They work independently, have separate groups of
friends and focus on managing/growing independently without input from their spouse. They manage their expenses individually by splitting the rent/mortgage, while also sharing the cable, phone and electric bills. Busy lives keep them from truly aligning with the traditional marriage model. The only signs of marriage in these relationships are the wedding photos, wedding rings worn by each spouse and the marriage license on display in the living room.Is there anything wrong with this type of arrangement?
There isn’t a one-size fits all model for marriage, so communicate what’s important to you during the dating phase of your relationship. Doing so allows you to initiate a level communication that can be valuable in setting the foundation for marriage.
Would you be open to a roommate arrangement for your marriage?
Kenny Pugh is a Life & Relationship Strategist, Author of ‘Can You Do It Standing Up?’, Speaker, HLN Contributor, singles leader and sought-after speaker on singleness, relationships, finances and life. You can find more information about Kenny at http://www.kennypugh.com. You can follow him on Facebook at Kenny Pugh or on Twitter @mrkennypugh.